Divorce is becoming more common as time goes on. Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. However, just because it’s becoming more common doesn’t mean it becomes easier to deal with.
Getting a divorce can be one of the most emotional and stressful things you can go through. There are ways to get through it, though. Here are some of the top ways to deal with divorce, and how they’ll help you through this difficult time in your life.
Reflect On Your Feelings
One of the first ways to deal with divorce is to reflect on your feelings about the situation. Getting a divorce can bring out several emotions. You could feel sad, angry, betrayed, depressed, lost, and/or frustrated. It’s important to reflect on these feelings and not let them fester within yourself. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Divorce isn’t an easy thing to go through, and it’s normal to feel the way you do.
When it comes to divorce, you could be in the stages of grief for your relationship. Kübler-Ross’ five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s normal to grieve the loss of your relationship, and knowing where you are in the stages of grief can help you process your emotions.
Talk With A Counselor
When thinking about ways to deal with divorce, something to consider is talking with a counselor or therapist about your feelings. These people are professionals in the counseling and mental health field. They can help you sort out your feelings and come up with a strategy for processing them. It’s also good to talk to someone who isn’t in your inner circle about your divorce. Your loved ones may offer advice, but it may not help your current situation as much as you think it does.
You can look up therapists or counselors in your area to visit. Some of them may have more experience counseling those going through divorces, so be sure to do your research and see if they’d help you sort your feelings out. Talking to someone about how you’re feeling can help you deal with your divorce in a healthy and non-judgmental way.
Check On Your Children
If you have children, make sure to check in on them as you’re going through your divorce. Divorce is tough on the two parties involved, but it can be even tougher on children. They may have spent their entire lives growing up in one household that had two parents in it, and now they have to adjust to two homes with one parent in each. This kind of sudden transition could leave them feeling confused, sad, and even angry.
Check in on your kids and see how they’re doing with the adjustment. If you put them in child care, see what you can do about taking them out for a day or two and just spend time with them. If you have older kids, be on the lookout for changes in behavior. Studies show that children whose parents are divorcing may start performing poorly in school, become angry, and may become withdrawn from their friends and classmates. If your children do exhibit these behaviors, try talking to them about it. If you can’t get through to them, see if talking to a counselor or therapist would help them.
Get Legal Representation
Getting the right legal counsel is essential when going through a divorce. You and your ex-spouse likely share a lot of assets, so now you have to determine who gets what in the divorce. You’ll have to go through your finances, properties, and other important assets.
If you have children, you’ll also have to work out a custody agreement. You may also want to seek advice from a child custody attorney when working out a custody deal. You’ll also use your legal team to help you determine who pays child support, and how much that support will be. You’ll also seek their help to determine what will happen with alimony and other forms of spousal support. Getting the right legal help will help you make well-informed legal decisions throughout your divorce. Your lawyers will help you make a deal that works best for you and your family during this tough time.
Create A Support System
One of the most important ways to deal with divorce is to create a support system for yourself and your family. A support system is a group of people you can turn to when times feel tough during your divorce. Your support system can consist of family, friends, colleagues, and even members of a local support group. You can talk to these people about how you’re feeling, ask them for advice, and get their take on your situation.
You could even look to your support system for your family’s needs. For example, if you have to work overtime to support yourself and your family, you can see if those in your support system can help you with sitter services. That way, you know your family is in trusted care while you work. You can also plan fun activities with members of your support system and bring your children along. Divorce is a painful thing to go through, but it can be a bit more bearable if you have people to lean on.
Know Your Rights
When thinking of ways to deal with divorce, a key thing to keep in mind is that you need to know your rights. When you go through a divorce, you and your spouse have legal rights. These rights vary from state-to-state, so you should check with your lawyer to get the details for your specific case. You have the right to do things like change your will and get details of a home mortgage that has your name on it.
It’s also important to know the rights you may not have as someone going through a divorce. You may not be able to move your children outside of the jurisdiction, or if you are allowed to, the distance you’re allowed to move them may be limited. It’s also crucial to not do things that can risk your legal rights in the divorce. These things include hiding money, destroying property, or disobeying court orders. These could put you at risk for losing some of your rights and not making a great impression in court.
Make A Plan
When you’re exploring ways to deal with divorce, a crucial thing to do is map out a plan. How are you going to pay for your lawyers? How are you going to balance working with raising your family? How are you going to keep yourself and your family afloat? These are all things you need to think about and map out before your divorce is finalized.
A great first start for making this plan is to evaluate your financial situation. Do you have separate accounts in your name, or is everything in your spouse’s name? If you don’t have any accounts in your name, you could run into some financial issues. It’s best to talk to accountants and see how your financial accounts are looking. If you don’t have a lot of money to spend on your divorce, see if you can move some money around. If you and your ex-spouse own a business together, contact bookkeeping services to see how the business is doing financially, and contact your lawyer to see what your rights are to that business.
You should also plan your living arrangements. Are you going to stay in the town you were in before the divorce, or are you looking for a change of scenery? If you want to move, can you afford it? If you have kids, are you able to move them away from your ex, or will that interfere with your pending custody agreement? You should also think about if you’re still going to live in your home, or move to another one. Having a plan in place will help you stay on a clear path throughout proceedings and show the court that you’ve put serious thought into your options.
Try To Have Open Communication With Your Ex
You may not immediately think this is one of the best ways to deal with divorce, but the better communication you have with your ex, the better. If you’re on decent terms with your ex-spouse, you can talk openly and honestly about what will work best for you and your family. The more hostile you two are with one another, the harder it will be to come to an agreement that works for your whole family.
Talk to your lawyers about how to communicate with your ex during your divorce. Depending on the situation, they may advise you to have little contact with them, except if it’s through their legal team. If you have children together, you’ll likely have to talk to them about visitations and coordinating schedules for care. It may not be easy to talk to them, but you need to for the sake of your children. Being on good terms with your ex doesn’t mean you have to be best friends. You can still have mutual feelings of respect for one another while going through a divorce. If you two have a decent relationship when all is said and done, it could make the legal negotiations easier and less hostile.
Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
some people pick unhealthy ways to deal with divorce. Some people may drink more, start smoking, or even turn to drugs to deal with the pain. However, turning to these unhealthy coping mechanisms can put you and your family at risk. If you’re not sure how to cope with your divorce, you can talk to a professional and see what your options are.
Healthier ways to cope include investing in fitness gear and working out, talking to your support system about your feelings, and talking with a therapist or counselor. These actions can help you cope with your emotions in a way that doesn’t jeopardize your health or the health of others. Plus, indulging in unhealthy coping mechanisms could lead to the court changing their opinion of you during proceedings. Divorce is tough to deal with, but coping with it in the wrong way can hurt you in more ways than one.
Take Time To Focus On You
One of the most important ways to deal with divorce is to take time to focus on yourself. You’re about to go through a big change in your life, and things may seem out of your control. However, you can use this time to start focusing on yourself and your needs. What are some goals you want to accomplish once your divorce is finalized? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to doing? If so, you can make it a goal to do that once the divorce is final. Focusing on life post-divorce and giving yourself goals can help you feel more in control during this time.
You can also set aside some time for yourself. Going through a divorce is stressful, and you may need some time to cope on your own. Make time to go to the spa, look into body treatment options if you want, or even simply make time to go for a walk each day on your own. Having time to yourself is essential when going through a divorce, as it will help you process your feelings better. The better you can process your feelings, the better you can plan for your future.
There are a number of ways to deal with divorce. You can take time for yourself, focus on your family, or spend some time with a support system you value and trust. No matter how you deal with your divorce, remember that the process will be over at some point. It may be stressful now, but that stress will decrease once the divorce is final. Getting divorced is an emotional process for you, your ex, and your family. However, if you can get through it in an amicable matter, you can create a solid foundation for you and your family’s post-divorce life.